How to Get Off an Emotional Rollercoaster

by Jade Parker


Recently, I sat laughing, talking, and singing with two close friends before the start of a new work week.  One thing of many I can count on us to share is our love for 90s/00s R&B.


It takes my mind, body, and spirit to a space where life is innocent and free; just like I remembered as a 90s Baby.  Before life grew me up and I became the person others needed and depended on.  The icing on the cake for me with this genre right now is how this era of rhythm and blues allowed historically excluded individuals safety for expressions of love.  Whether it was a new love, a troubled relationship, or a painful heartbreak, the mountains and valleys of emotions provide so much space of vulnerability and transparency for life as a creative.  I relate to the mountains and valleys of emotions I feel daily when overwhelmed or lost for words to communicate my own thoughts and feelings. 


It wasn’t until I returned home after my visit with friends left me feeling lighter that I noticed the week prior had really sent me on a whirl of emotions.  Imagine a fast, winding, loopy roller coaster, if you will.  With unexpected turns and drops that give whiplash.  Ouch. 


As I learn the best self-care can come from my tribe nourishing me, I also reflect on other times I prefer to use personal tools I’ve stashed in my self-care toolbox.  Like the aforementioned R&B music therapy, they each play a role in preparing me for the next seven days of the unexpected.  For life at work, in business, and personal life…all with a leveled head and a light heart.


There are so many ways we unconsciously cope when life takes us on an emotional rollercoaster.  When striving for stability and growth, I’ve found it super helpful to create environments for myself and with others that are conducive for nourishment and building on solid foundation.  At these big ages, reality starts to hit that the highs from the thrills and blows from lows cause emotional vertigo where we lose the ability to sense one direction from another.  If you’re still feeling dizzy like myself from the last emotional rollercoaster you were on and finally want off, I got you!


10 Tips for How to Get off an Emotional Rollercoaster:


  1. Explore mental health therapy - Seek cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and other forms of counseling with a mental health professional to help deal with the damage of trauma and hurt.  When we can’t forget what happened, we can choose to not become what hurt us.  Therapy helps with this mental and emotional recovery.
  2. Get your body moving! - Stale energy leaves the body when you let it out of your system.  Hitting the gym, going for a walk, or dancing (my favorite) can do the trick here. 
  3. Vent to individuals you know, like, and trust. -  Talking to people that are able and willing to support you emotionally helps lighten the burden.  Even if they can’t fix or resolve your issues, your tribe cares about you and wants to help any way they can.  Trust me. 
  4. Seek wise counsel from within your network/support group - When listening isn’t enough and you’re ready to do the work of finding solutions, this tool is key.  Solitude over an extended period of time can turn into isolation, which increases your risk to make unhealthy decisions due to lack of understanding, and knowledge about what just happened.
  5. Write your feelings down in a journal - This form of self reflection gets the feelings out of your head without bringing judgment and perspective from others in areas you’re sensitive to feedback and criticism.  You may even see a solution once on paper!
  6. Record your feelings in a voice memo -  Listening back to hear your tone and word choice can help with awareness of how you react/respond in a tough moment.  You know yourself best, why not be your own best friend and advocate to move through your feelings in a way that keeps you accountable?
  7. Practice self-compassion - It’s true, we can be our own worst enemy when we replay a situation.  I always think of things I should’ve and could’ve said/done afterwards.   Extending mercy to ourselves for what we can’t go back and change in addition to giving grace to move forward can help us not to stay stuck for too long.
  8. Reset your senses with safety points - Have a current self-care routine?  My go-to in my nightly routine is The Luxe Starter Kit made by ROJOrganics for washing the day away in the shower.  It’s a great place to start with customizing a basic routine that nourishes your body and sets your mind at ease.
  9. Spend time alone to reset - Tapping out of a situation that drains you can keep the energy battery from completely dying.  Even cell phones have a reserve so that once they die, they can still show the device needs to be charged.  Leaving a little energy in the tank can keep your emotional reserve from going completely dry. 
  10. Do something kind for others - Acts of service and altruism can take the attention from your personal emotions off your mind.  Channeling energy into healthy events with others that boost your confidence and feel-good hormones is a win-win for everyone involved. 


A variety of these tools used in combination with each other can sync your timing to get off the ride at a time it's safe to do so.  The ground level usually is the safest place to unbuckle and exit so that you don't fall from the sky or have to climb out of a deep dark abyss.  Self-esteem and the relationship we have with ourselves will have an impact on any other relationship we have in life.  When it is intact, greater chances are our extending relationships will be too!


You deserve to have your cup full, your heart whole, your mind + body healthy, and your spirit loved.


Wishing you the best during this transition from winter to spring!